Musings

Make a decision

December 11, 2015
Seashells by the seashore

Whether you’re always on the fence or just waiting in hope that everything will turn out, it’s all about struggling with that hard decision – to make a decision. What if it’s not about the specific choices you’re presented, but that you simply have to make one.

It’s a hard look I’ve had to take at myself. I struggle with making decisions because I’m scared of being responsible for negative outcomes and have a paralyzing fear of failure.

I end up more often than not deferring to the decision of others, taking a path of inaction or, frankly, predictability.

Why? Like many, at both menial and critical times, I doubt my wisdom, my foresight, my life skills, my potential.

I don’t want to be the reason everyone has a mediocre time because I picked the wrong restaurant. Even though I know I can be a meticulous perfectionist, I’m scared to carry the weight of a major undertaking in case I…don’t bring honour to us all?! Oh, the shame!

What happened? What made me accept my own floaty, back seat,  random behaviour? I used to feel like I had vigorous ambition and drive. Now I just feel tired and old.

Blue sky with happy clouds and sunshine

It’s interesting and powerful how pictures of nature can evoke the same emotions in people. This one says “hopeful optimism”!? Your future is is bright, take the reigns and live!

I used to attribute my past decisiveness to youthful energy and naivety.  Maybe that excitement I had about the boundless opportunity in the world, waiting for discovery, just lost its lustre over the years.

But, I’m now realizing I just became complacent with life. Being satisfied, even confident, with the “I could have’s”, instead of doing the work to say “I did”.

Isn’t the truth that it takes less effort to live in grey area? Just let things play out and see how the cards fall? But, unfortunately, being in limbo results in melancholy, you’re not sad – but not happy, either.

When you make a decision, you set in to motion a path of action and intention to move forward. It can turn out positive or sideways, but you have to bet on yourself .

Take the chance so that something, anything, happens instead of delaying action and settling for the easiest outcome.

More on that, being stuck in the vortex of over-analyzation can cause more anxiety than just picking something and sticking to it.

If life’s like one of those choose-your-own-adventures, putting down the book doesn’t get you anywhere.

Bow river summer sunset

This one says “your path leads to serenity, just take the journey.” Too poetic?

Of course, there’s something to be said about taking a break and getting that rejuvenating down time needed to recharge and really weigh your options in life.

But, recharging is not Candy Crushing and trashy TV-ing to avoid and distract from action (my fave activities, for sure).

Make a decision to achieve, set goals, make a list of to-dos, create a timeline and enforce deadlines.

Or else, all of a sudden you’re turning 30 and your future self hates you for wasting time. Too personal? haha

Most importantly, you just have to trust yourself and know you can, and will, make new decisions in life and possibly even change your mind to move forward.

I know, easier said than done. Work in progress for me everyday!

What do you do to focus, be decisive and get motivated? #turning30 #quarterlifecrisis #millenials

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4 Comments

  • Reply Elisha January 9, 2016 at 10:06 am

    Great post! I can totally relate to this. I too have a horrible fear of failure and it stops me from making choices and sticking to them because I’m scared of the outcome.

    • Reply Michelle Seto January 11, 2016 at 3:14 pm

      Thanks for reading, Elisha! Glad you can relate 🙂 I feel like we can be our own worst enemies, just gotta keep our heads up and march forward!

  • Reply Kyle N December 12, 2015 at 12:06 am

    Great post! Turning 30 is unreal… I still have two terrifying months before it happens. Ugh! Haha – here’s an amazing quote I read last week, your post reminded me of it:

    “Human beings differ profoundly in regard to the tendency to regard their lives as a whole. To some it is natural to do so, and essential to happiness to be able to do so with some satisfaction. To others life is a series of detached incidents without directed movement and without unity. I think the former sort are more likely to achieve happiness than the latter, since they will gradually build up those circumstances from which they can derive contentment and self-respect, whereas the others will be blown about by the winds of circumstance now this way, now that, without ever arriving at any haven. The habit of viewing life as a whole is an essential part both of wisdom and of true morality, and is one of the things which ought to be encouraged in education. Consistent purpose is not enough to make life happy, but it is an almost indispensable condition of a happy life.” – Bertrand Russell, “The Conquest of Happiness”

    So, decision made or decision not made, it all adds up to important experience? Hopefully. 🙂 I, like you, really have no idea!

    Keep the posts coming!

    Kyle

    • Reply Michelle Seto December 12, 2015 at 11:38 pm

      Phew! I’m younger than you, I suddenly feel revived 🙂 haha!
      Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Kyle! I dig your insight. I’m finding things boil down to the age old debate of fate and free will. It’s liberating and yet somewhat overwhelming to realize your happiness depends on your own perspective.
      We need to actively decide that we have a purpose and that all of our experiences – good and bad – are meaningful to our own path to happiness. #nochill haha. Thanks so much for your support 🙂

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